Wednesday, April 22, 2009

Feeling Down Lately

Dear Reader,

I have been feeling really down lately, sort of depression. First, it does not really work well at work, my project is reaching its "go live" date, and my machine has still several tweaks to go in order to work correctly (I build automated machine for the plastic packaging industry).

Secondly, and it is a bit more serious, Yukyin's itchiness is not going... man, she feels itchy all day long, around the clock. She can't sleep, and we really start getting tired of that situation. We fetched over the internet, and she might have some ICP symptoms (Intrahepatic Cholestasis of Pregnancy), more on that here. It's a kind of illness that happens when the liver is overwhelmed and the reaction is simply itching...

Anyway, she still scratches herself a lot and can't seem to control it, even when she is sleeping... snoring and scratching at the same time. So it's pretty harsh time for us. She wakes up several time through night and consequently wakes me up, cause she can't bear it anymore.

These two things kept ticking in my mind and made me go through a mild depression. My mind was teared off between a feeling of incompetence (can't solve problems at work or at home), being tired (lack of sleep), trying to avoid putting any extra pressure on Heidi (that's the biggest problem in my personality in fact). So I started to lock myself in my mind and start to depress.

We keep praying for these matters, but it seems that a miracle won't happen... and that's not really what we should looking for either... If a miracle was to happen each time I intensively pray for that... God would only be a wish box. I was starting to loose mind and faith. Sometimes, it's so crazy how we fall easily in the Devil's plans...

But in this despair, we could find out God's Love, not through miraculous healing or intelligence (:))... but, we felt a very good support from our sisters and brothers at Church. They kept praying for us, calling us, advising us, recommending us to other friends that went through the same experience. They kept caring for us and that's something we are very grateful, and something we want to give thanks to the Lord, for He has shown us His Love through His children.

Again, let me do a call for prayers, if you have two secs, please pray for us, we need your prayers. Please pray for my ability to do what God appointed me to do and for Yukyin's pregnancy.

Thank You